Ban Leaf fans from Scotiabank Place?
Does the prospect of hearing “Go, Leafs, Go!” sung loudly at Scotiabank Place next Saturday night appeal to you about as much as having to clean the crumbs out of Lanny McDonald’s moustache?
Editor’s note: Apparently the phone has been ringing off the hook at the Citizen’s sports department over this Mark Sutcliffe column, which I present now for your reading pleasure:
No, Leafs, no: Ban buds fans
By Mark Sutcliffe
Does the prospect of hearing “Go, Leafs, Go!” sung loudly at Scotiabank Place next Saturday night appeal to you about as much as having to clean the crumbs out of Lanny McDonald’s moustache? Do you think blue and white jerseys belong in our building as much as Tie Domi belongs in Mensa?
You’re not alone. The Senators front office admits the team hears complaints from fans who stay away from Toronto-Ottawa games because Leaf fans ruin the experience.
Which only makes the problem worse, since more tickets become available for the middle-aged guys who cuddle Carlton the Bear at night.
So maybe it’s time to do something about it.
It’s too late for next week’s game, because most of the tickets have already been sold. But for one game against Toronto next year, I’m proposing A Night Without Leaf Fans.
It’s time to say Phaneuf is enough. This city needs to rid its hockey arena of the infestation of blue-faced critters that appear whenever the Leafs visit Ottawa. We need to give Toronto fans a mandatory Leaf of absence from Scotiabank Place.
I’m proposing the following action plan:
All season-ticket holders will be asked to sign a pledge that they will not allow Leafs fans to use their tickets for a specific game next year. Companies with season tickets are actually a big part of the problem: they give up their seats for Toronto games to clients and staff who cheer for the visiting team. That won’t be allowed this time. If you betray the home side, we’ll publish your company name.
Next, we’ll launch a campaign to have the most diehard Senators fans buy up all the remaining tickets before they go on sale to the general public. It should be as easy as skating around Borje Salming. What Senators fan wouldn’t want to be at an Ottawa-Toronto game where, for the first time ever, 100-per-cent of the crowd was cheering for the home team? It would be the biggest moment of civic pride since Tony Gabriel took off his cleats.
How will we know every ticket buyer is a Senators fan? Ah, because to get a seat you’ll have to post a picture of yourself in a Senators jersey on your Facebook page, then watch a highlight reel of Daniel Alfredsson’s best goals, followed by Zdeno Chara treating Brian McCabe like a rag doll. No self-respecting Leaf fan, if there is such a thing, would endure that.
Meanwhile, the mayor of Ottawa would declare it an Official Day Without Leaf Fans and pass a bylaw that anyone found wearing a Leafs jersey in the city during that 24-hour period will be sentenced to eight hours of community service for the Ottawa Senators Foundation, wearing an Alfie jersey and holding a Spartacat doll. Vern White, we need all your best men on this one.
By the way, if we’re going to have the name of a tough, low-scoring defenceman on the concession stands during A Night Without Leaf Fans, it can’t be a former Leaf. So, for one night only, Tim Hortons stations will be known as Matt Carkners.
But even these drastic measures might not be enough. Like unwanted household pests, Leaf fans are not easy to drive away. (And they’re also attracted to garbage.)
So, we’ll need to provide one more disincentive. A Night Without Leaf Fans will also raise a pile of money for an important cause. Companies will be encouraged to make donations, fans will be asked to line up pledges, and $20 from every ticket sold will go to the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario or an equally important local charity.
But there’s one important string attached. You know how you can promise $5 to the guy in the next cubicle if he bikes to Kingston and back? Technically speaking, if he doesn’t do it, then you’re off the hook.
Well in this case, the money only gets released if A Night Without Leaf Fans really is a night without Leaf fans. If so much as one guy wearing blue and white underwear jumps out of his seat for a Toronto scoring chance (that includes you, Stephen Harper), the donation is cancelled.
So, Toronto fans, for one night you can Leaf us alone and know that you’re helping a good cause. Since you’ll be playing a role by staying away, we might even let someone in a Leafs jersey appear for the cheque presentation. But if you think Steve Bartman had it rough when he cost the Cubbies a World Series berth, you don’t want to be the guy thwarting a half-million-dollar donation to CHEO.
Before you go crying to a human rights tribunal, Leaf fans, we’re talking about one game here. You can still come and scream your lungs out for your Cupless-Since-the-Moon-Landing heroes at two other games in Ottawa.
Or, here’s a thought: buy some tickets to see your team in Toronto. And don’t come back. (After a night at the Air Canada Centre, you won’t be able to afford the return trip anyway.)
Think about it, Senators fans: One game. One mortal enemy. No Leaf fans.
Who’s with me?
I think this shows the exact wrong way to go about gaining a fan base. Spend less time worrying about the opposing team fans and more time worrying about our team and let the chips fall where they may. What’s next? Ban Habs fans? Canucks fans? Not a good idea at all. Unless his article was meant to be taken tongue in cheek?
I proudly live in the Toronto area which obviously means I am a die hard Leaf fan. I hear the radio announcers talking about some article published in some Ottawa newspaper talking about banning Leaf fans from the Senators arena. To be honest I thought it was just a joke. Thanks to google I find out they werent kidding. WOW, I shake my head in disgust. I can understand rivelry and competition between sports fans and sports teams… I totally get that. Once I got through all the whinning, jealousy, and completely immature comments bashing Toronto, its people, and our hockey team. I come across something truely disgusting. How could one collect money for charity sake and then once that money is collected later deny a charity if someone in a leafs jersey shows up at the game because it makes you angry that other people may come and cheer their team on. People from all over will and have read that article and Ottawa as a city will be looked down on. Do you think that the Senator hockey players and organization want to be associated with your article? You have embarassed them, the people of Ottawa (the ones with morals, a concious, and class anyways), you have embarassed all Canadians in general. To know that you are the type of person who would deny… children, cancer patients, whatever charity the money would of gone to, to help the sick and needy. Karma is a B!t@h it may be you or your loved one who may need the help of charity one day. What are you really afraid of anyways? Who did you cheer for when you didnt have a team? You should buy some class with that charity money you keep. Thank god this will never happen… I can guarentee you will see even more leaf fans at the games. I hope that you realize that you owe an apology your City and to the Senators Hockey Team, what the hell were you thinking. Toronto doesnt need your apology we are just gonna start a petition to ban your A$$ from our country. George I could not agree with you more.
Bad idea.
Listen, I’ll gladly admit that I was a Habs fan before the locals came to town. That wasn’t always a walk in the park with the top hat (wink to Steve Lloyd here) and so on, they were decidedly mediocre inthe early to mid 80s.
That said, one of the BEST parts of that fandom was getting together on a chilly December or January with family from Quebec and just razzing each other over the Nordiques, who seemed perpetually on the cusp of greatness, beating the Habs at times in the playoffs but never winning the big games. That was tons of fun. Nords fans crying over Alain Côté, the Good Friday Massacre…who doesn’t enjoy a good rivalry?
Dear lord, do we really want Scotiabank Place to be a funeral home 41 games a year? It’s dreary out there. Fans rarely cheer and the small, rabid contingent that does (Red Scarf Army) gets told to ‘tone it down’. Just brutal! And it’s even worse with all the squawking and anti-Leafs gear sold on Team 1200.
JUST CHEER FOR THE SENATORS.
If they “GO LEAFS GO” you “ALFIE! ALFIE”
If they bring up the playoff losses, you bring up the Cup finals.
Tit for tat.
Have fun with it! Enjoy it! It wasn’t that long that we were Leafs or Habs fans, remember?
Lol, your mad beacuse leafs fan cheer at your home games? how is it are fault that leafs fan have more fans in Ottawa then ottawa? and Ban them for one game? lol the revenue would go down badly, god there’s to much to say about this, man you need some help and you’re embarrasing Hockey, and Ottawa, oh and your making fun of us about our cup drought? How many stanley cups has ottawa won?
This the most ridiculous thing i have ever read in my life… if this ever did happen (which it won’t) I would be going to federal court
Hands down the stupidest article I have ever read. Sounds like a butt-hurt sens fans who hates that Toronto has the best fan base in the NHL. Scotiabank Place should change it’s name to Air Canada Center Jr. or something like that. It’s our cottage up north, like it or not.
Wow…this is just pathetic on the part of the Senators. And the fact that they’re actually trying to go through with it as an organization is even worse. “Lets have all the Sens fans buy up all the tickets” have you ever stopped to think that the reason there are so many Leaf fans at the games, is because there just isn’t that many people that like the Sens to begin with? I really wonder if the mayor of Ottawa would be for what is basically a loss of tourism revenue, or against it. Thats a tough one. Although I guess its not that big of a deal, I mean people DO come to ottawa for more than just Leaf/Sens and Hab/Sens games right?….right??? Oh…nevermind.